#Tracy chapman the promise meaning full#

I was chatting with a woman at the wedding last weekend about the moving sincerity of the bride and groomвЂ™s love and the delivery of their vows. That feels like a pretty significant failure in the face of the vows I made and still believe in. I think I have simply too often made it about my wife and about me, individually, rather than about us.

I havenвЂ™t been good at the little things that are really the big things, like being sure to say вЂњI love youвЂќ every day, giving meaningful hellos and goodbyes, and just checking in to make sure everything is okay, with her and with us. I have been resentful when the parenting load has become excessive instead of recognizing that as part of the natural cycle and letting it go. I have often used my solitary nature to justify my silence and withdrawal when I needed to rise to a situation and communicate my Truth in order to clear the air and allow a storm to pass more quickly. The same for arguments and other hurt feelings. I have held onto slightsвЂ“whether real or perceivedвЂ“for too long after they happened. I have too often failed to give my wife the benefit of the doubt and failed to assume positive intent when things havenвЂ™t gone as I had hoped. Taken in broad strokes, I have kept my priorities in line.Д«ut when I take a closer lookвЂ“as I am prone to do in this journaling lifeвЂ“I cannot deny that I have also failed to live up to the idealistic vision I held of my vows on that magical lovefest of a day those sixteen years ago. I cheer for my wifeвЂ™s victories and lend an ear and a shoulder on her tougher days. Leave it to Father Time to add some dents and dull the shine of even the most heartfelt promises.ДonвЂ™t get me wrong: I havenвЂ™t failed entirely as a life partner. Through streaming tears, we promised each other our very best for all the days of our lives. Inevitably, as I sat there taking it all inвЂ“and yes, crying along with themвЂ“my thoughts swirled back to my own wedding and the heartfelt vows my wife and I made to each other. At every turn, they seemed to hit the right notes in both the substance of what they were saying and the conviction of their delivery.

I listened most closely to the vows that they had written together, the promises they were making to each other about the kind of people they wanted to be for each other and the kind of shared life they wanted to create in the years to come.

#Tracy chapman the promise meaning full#

The officiant, a friend of theirs, was funny and sincere, and they were deeply grateful for everyoneвЂ™s presence and full of tears at each otherвЂ™s expressions of their true love. The video looping on the big video screen as the guests made their way in was from one of those вЂњone second a dayвЂќ apps that showed highlights of their last year together, prompting lots of laughs, oohs, and ahhs, and just generally drawing everyone into the atmosphere of community and love. Instead of the typical, stodgy affair full of artifice and repetition of the standards, it was highly personal and authentic to the bride and groom. I looked forward to it like a root canal.Д«ut a funny thing happened in that glowing, well-appointed hall. So, you can imagine how thrilled I was when my wife informed me recently that weвЂ“just the two of us, no kids allowedвЂ“would be going to her friendвЂ™s wedding, set for this past weekend. Even when I like the people there, I donвЂ™t want to be there. DonвЂ™t even get me started on the reception! Small-talk, over-served alcohol, and too much noise to have a good conversation. The pomp and circumstance, the dressing up, all the make-up and hair products, the extravagant decorations, the cookie-cutter procedure, the religious decorum and forced reverence. Or your graduation or your funeral, for that matter. If you know me, you know I have just about zero desire to attend your wedding. But not just any wrong person: itвЂ™s got to be the right wrong personвЂ“someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, вЂThis is the problem I want to have.вЂ™вЂќ вЂ“Andrew Boyd, Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe If you can make a promise, if itвЂ™s one that you can keep, I vow to come for you i f you wait for me.вЂќ вЂ“Tracy Chapman, The Promise вЂњTogether again, It would feel so good to be i n your arms, w here all my journeys end.